When you are young your idea of love is very simple. Your Mum and Dad love each other, and they both love you. You love your siblings, your grandparents and your Auntie’s and Uncles. All these people around you shower you with strong, simple love that you don’t even think about you just know is there. You watch films where love is so passionate, so right, so heart wrenching and read books where the heroine always ends up with her man. But what happens when love isn’t so simple anymore?
It feels strange being an adult and looking at love from this angle, understanding the differences in love and realising that the very simple, unrequited love I felt as a child was a cocoon to keep me safe in the hope of preparing me for the love to come.
Previously I have given my love simply, just I had been taught, only to have it repaid in a way I couldn’t comprehend. It was a hard love that hurt, that was forced and unhealthy and chipped away a little part of my heart. A love that I didn’t understand at the time but that I now know wasn’t love at all.
I often look at couples in the street and wonder about their love, about what type of love they have. The older I get the more I realise how personal love is and that the way I love and want to be loved is different to the way another person sees their love. Levels of love differ, and peoples capabilities of loving change due to life experiences. Couples drift apart, love that was once strong is now weak and some people find that companionship is all the love they need. In the same way new love is born, connections are gained and passion levels out to a deep love that comes easy.
For me? I want a love that lasts, a simple happy love…and I think I might have found it.